Personal Stories

Why I am not buying the ‘Body Positive’ thing

25 January 2019
Afvallen Meetlint

Lately, I am hearing more and more about ‘body positive’ around me: that it’s okay to be a little plus sized, to be proud of your own body, and a weird little squiggle or a bit extra are not something to be ashamed about. A beautiful thought!

There are lots of people who really can’t help having a little extra weight. People with thyroid problems. People who are depressed and turn to food for comfort. Or people who eat healthy, but are physically not able to get enough exercise. But what about me?

Okay, I’ll be honest: I am not very slim. Sure, I’m not super fat either, but that is a different story. The point is, I have always been reasonably slim – not model material, but I did not have any extra rolls, either.

Not so slim anymore

Afvallen Meetlint

Now, 10 years and 20 kilos later, I do have those rolls. And they bother me. I don’t feel good in my own body but I don’t see much opportunity to actively do something about it. I need to buy larger clothes (which reminds me of my increasing body size and my failing intentions to lose some weight) en getting some exercise is not going as well as it used to (okay, that last bit could just be my age. Ha.)

So should I just be proud of my body, just like I hear everywhere around me? Should I just accept that it is the way it is? Should I tell myself that the modern western ideal of the slim woman has been ‘talked’ into me?

Recipe for gaining weight

There are days when I am actually inclined to just give up and accept the sad truth. I work 32 hours a week, have a commute of two hours to get to the office (and another two hours to get back home), I take on the largest part of running the household, and in my spare time I am working on this blog. To hopefully one day be able to work from home and ditch the 4-hour commute.

Add our working schedules to that (I am away for over 12 hours, my significant other works early shifts one week, and late shifts the other) and neither of us have a full nights rest because of the other’s schedule. Hello, extremely tired sugar addiction! Well, that there is my recipe for gaining weight.

Not ‘body positive’ 

Look, if you are happy with your body even if it is not quite model material – I get you! Go body positive! If it suits you well and I will give you my full support! Not everyone has to be super slim, right? And accepting each other the way we are (or rather: the way we WANT to be) is precious. But I don’t want to be like this. I want my own body back.


Don’t get me wrong: I am not anti-body positive and I think the women who have the power to stand up for themselves and what they feel good about are awesome! But I also think that ideas are simply that: ideas, and we should not talk each other into something (or someone) we are not. The slim part of humanity cannot demand that everyone be slim, and the ‘body positive’ part cannot tell everyone to just accept their body as it is, even if you are not happy with it. That is a choice everyone should make for themselves, and I choose to fight my extra kilos.

Are you ‘body positive’ or planning to battle your weight (again!) this year?

1 Comment

  • Reply Losing weight, try 1: dieting - Huid en Haar 13 February 2019 at 6:19 am

    […] while ago I wrote a bit about body positive and why I am struggling to apply that thought to myself. I weigh more than I have ever weighed. I […]

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